Desire
by cherryli-chan
Summary: Short story about a certain hanyou and his secret desires and reflections on love for another boy demon. (yaoihentai)((yes, theres hentai, so if you like sex, than youll like my story ))
1. Chapter One

Desire: By: Cherry Li_chan  
  
Disclaimer: no...I don't own inu-yasha.please don't sue me. I only have 15 cents.you cant have that.if you want.  
  
(A/N: ***WARNING*** this is a yaoi/hentai fan fiction!! If you are uncomfortable with that I suggest you do NOT go any further. Personally, I prefer kag/inu ^_^.but I thought I would try this. It just seemed so.interesting..sorda.OK, anyway. Im babbling, ne?)  
  
Chapter one: There are a lot of things in life that I'm disgusted by.  
  
If I could sum it up in one word. It would have to be.  
  
Love.  
  
Ah love, that sizzling fire in your soul. Makes you feel things you never did before.  
  
That sweet buzzing in your heart.  
  
Before it decides its had enough of playing with you. Only to leave you feeling more abandoned and most horribly alone.  
  
I don't pretend to think that I'm above such an important thing as love. I loved my mother. I love.power.  
  
Power. One thing I'm not disgusted by. I could say that's what I always dreamed of having. Its always been just out of reach for me though. Just on the tip of my tongue. I can't say that I haven't had off beat moments of power. Only through love can you gain the most power though. The most control over somebody.  
  
Such devestation that results in uncontrollable reverence.  
  
It makes me hard just thinking about it.  
  
I've had that kind of control on people before. It lights a desire within you, that will never burn out. You feel an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. Just think, people have died, kingdoms have crumbled, once powerful beings have weakened.  
  
All in the name of love.  
  
Kagome, that sweet innocent girl from another time. Another world.  
  
I had control over her. Yes, all because of an untamable lust that grew inside of her and consumed her every being.  
  
But, she wasn't much of a struggle. At first my demon mind sets in and says conquer and destroy. I wanted to satisfy this feeling I had.  
  
I could've conquered her. I could've had her.  
  
But, instead I chose to be alone.  
  
She was the girl that got away.  
  
I miss her sometimes.  
  
I hadn't even bothered after Kikyo.  
  
What could I possibly want with a dead girl. I'm not some necrophiliac.  
  
I still go to her though. When she calls and that familiar presence begs me to venture to her once more. I hope more every time I go that maybe she will be alive when I get to her. I look into those cold, harsh eyes hoping that they will answer my prayers.  
  
But she wastes no time in disappointing me. She is a constant reminder of the fact that I have failed in love.  
  
That I was never truly in control.  
  
And that thought scares me.  
  
That's one thing about love. When you fall the hardest you lose the most control. And its harder to get back up again.  
  
But that, as I have always thought, is the way fate decided it should end.  
  
So be it.  
  
I was ready for another challenge at love. I could give it a fair go. But it hurt too much now. I knew that when I was most vulnerable would be when it would rear its ugly head at me again.  
  
And I hoped I would be prepared for when it came. But I knew I wouldn't.  
  
When he came back to me, realizing I was alone, I knew that love would grow inside of us. He had planted his infectious seed in my head. It drew me to him.  
  
And him to me.  
  
Devastation makes the heart grow fonder. 


	2. Chapter Two

Desire By CherryLi_chan  
  
Chapter two:  
  
Disclaimer: no. I don't own anbody. i don't even think I own myself..er..yeah.  
  
(A/N: well, if you're reading this chapter, it means one or both of two good things: 1.) you like my story, or 2.) you like incestuous homosexual hentai. In which case I say. BONZAI! Your crazy. Ok read now. Oh I guess your wondering where that hentai stuff is. But its not coming up. But its still inferred that he's talking about that special boy. ^_^)  
  
I can't help saying that I have fallen in love with him  
  
I have been noticing that I keep missing him. Thinking about how soft, and hauntingly beautiful he really is. His features so masculine and intimidating, yet feminine and honest.  
  
He's plagued my dreams for a long time now. I find myself reaching for the hem of my pants before I realize what I'm doing. That I'm hard just thinking about his domineering nature.  
  
How can one man hold such a tight grasp on my heart. Every time I breathe him in, its almost like I choke for the scent once again before I suffocate. Other air is impure, polluted and dirty.  
  
I wait for the moment when we could meet and share our precious moments together.  
  
I hate myself and this revolting need that I have. I'm so weak that I can't even placate this vicious desire in my heart and soul. I feel that I will die.  
  
I breathe it, sleep it, need it, desire it.  
  
I shiver at that thought.  
  
We have a conscious control over each other. As a reassurance that I can still feel.  
  
That I still know what its like to have power.  
  
I don't frequently put myself in the path of him. He is forever a nomad, and if I happen to cross his path, it is a blessing and a curse because I know he'll when the moments over. I look for him sometimes. He doesn't want to be looked for though. I think that he has gotten so used to the idea of being lost. Constantly searching for something that he never discover.  
  
I could pretend that we just happen to meet when we do, but every time his scent, which I know all to well, shifts and quivers in the breeze I run towards it. Gods. I run as fast as I can. Just to hope of catching a glimpse of him.  
  
I was lucky enough to catch and keep him some time ago. Gods, it was amazing. I didn't even care about relenting to this lust I kept inside.  
  
We are each others worst evils.  
  
I try to stay as silent as I can when I sense him. Hoping to hear his name whisper through the trees around me.  
  
I need to satisfy this growing ache inside of me.  
  
(kinda short. Yeah. Sorry.) 


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three: By CherryLi_chan  
  
Disclaimer: no Inu-Yasha for me.don't sue me pweeze  
  
(A/N: HEEENNNTAAIIIII!!!)  
  
Today I haven't been feeling like myself. I feel weak. Tired, and lonely. On bright sunny days like this. When a soft wind blows and butterflys dance in the flowers.  
  
I feel like murdering something.  
  
Just letting crimson wash over me, cover everything in black and red. Let my instincts take over.  
  
Kill not out of necessity, but out of bloodlust.  
  
It depresses the hell out of me.  
  
I hate days like today.  
  
I sat in the goshinboku tree and thought for a while. About nothing and nobody in particular, turning through distant memories and fuzzy things I can't seem to place.  
  
I started to day dream about him again and I think about how one person can help me forget about my past. How just by knowing he's alive I'm able to live each day.  
  
My wandering hand fiddled with the knot at my waist before I slid my hand down and cradled my hardness. I felt a moan growing in my throat as I gently rubbed and images of past pleasures and fantasies flashed across my eyes. I anticipated the usual sizzling feeling in my stomach as I started to push into my hand and rubbed up and down faster. I groan and sigh and stars dance before my eyes, as I pumped harder, trying to reach the vivacious, and overpowering climax at hand. I can taste the arousal in my mouth, feel it watering in my eyes, and I yearn for something that is just beyond my finger tips.  
  
I feel like screaming as I orgasm and cum into my hand. Being able to touch and feel the lust I hide inside of me. I started to shake and I could still feel the excitement, I let it tingle all through out my body.  
  
My eyes flutter open as I sense him standing there, underneath of the tree watching me substantiate my lust for him.  
  
"Sesshoumaru.." I manage to breathe out. Before I jump down however, I gather my wits about me. Not wanting to overwhelm him.  
  
I jumped down in front of him, managing through every strength of my being to keep my eyes averted from his.  
  
"I could smell you Inu-Yasha." He spoke as usual in his uncaring and unobliging voice. I've learned to ignore the need to make him show his emotions as I do. "I could smell your arrousal, Inu Yasha, do you want to seem easier prey for demons? Are you that naïve?"  
  
I ignored him though, as I reached for him, trying to demonstrate my need, my desire.  
  
He pushed my hand away and slammed me against the tree. A soft guttural growl escaped his chest as a small shimmer of emotion crossed his face before quickly vanishing away.  
  
I grunted at the force of his hold on my chest against the tree. I didn't want it lessen, it reminded me of the fact that I felt so alive.  
  
He leaned closer to me and pressed his face against my ear. I felt his breathe whisper againt it, and I ached like I never had before. "You're a fool." he said softly, before leaning away and looking directly at my face.  
  
I had to look away, the craving building up inside.  
  
"Please..Please Sesshoumaru..I need --"  
  
But I was cut off as I felt him shift his weight and grind against hardness; he started to drag his clawed hand across my cheek, before he touched my lips with the pad of his fingers. The touch of his hand on my face lingered long after it was gone.  
  
He tugged at my haori and started to pull it off. I could only stand there, doing nothing.  
  
He bit and licked between the crook of my neck I could only try to stifle a moan but to no avail. I almost felt his smirk against my neck.  
  
He started to lower himself on the ground trailing his claws down my bare chest as he went, leaving tiny lines of blood behind.  
  
He grabbed my arm urging me to lie down next to him. As I did, he began to pull my hakama down. Immediately I felt self conscious, the obvious hard on I had embarrassed me, making it seem I couldn't even contain my lust and passion for him.  
  
He ignored my obvious tension though as he took my penis into his hands, and started rubbing, at first just slowly, but enough to make me feel every height of desire.  
  
I started to arch into his hand and seeing my reaction he pumped faster. My hand reached for his hair, feeling it slide through my hands like silk. He caught my hand and kissed my palm before sucking on each clawed finger. This only managed to make me moan louder and purr in ecstasy.  
  
Before long I felt the beginning that peak, when my mind explodes and I could sense every molecule of the environment around me.  
  
But he stopped right before I could reach it and get a firm hold on it. As he let go, I whimpered. I tried desperately to make myself keep that feeling where we had left off, before it was too late. He pushed my hand away from him though as I felt his tongue gliding over the tip. He wrapped his mouth around it and dragged his fanged mouth up and down, creating a sensation I had only felt with him, but felt new and exciting each time. Bringing new climates of pleasure.  
  
I soon reached the same peak I felt only a little while ago, arching again into his mouth with each vibration of his own growls of stimulation.  
  
As soon as I cummed into his mouth, he eagerly drank the juices of my aspiration.  
  
He looked up at me and leaned over to ardently crush his mouth to mine. Our tongues were intertwined obsessively, the bite of his fangs against my lips brought the new taste of copper metallic blood. I could feel it trailing down my cheek and into my hair.  
  
He noticed this and wiped it along my cheek, the blood leaving a trail across my face. After this he got up to stand.  
  
I was alert again and grabbed his hand. "wait -" I whispered, almost inaudibly. I had a shiver of fear as I thought he was going to leave me again. I didn't want to be alone.  
  
He looked at me and gave my hand a squeeze before letting go and untying his own clothes. As the realization hit me, I relaxed leaned back down to rest on my elbows, watching him undress. His chest was hard and smooth, his obvious strength belying his tenderness.  
  
After he was as naked as I, he forcibly grabbed underneath my arms to pick me up and turn me around so that I faced the opposite way. I leaned against the goshinboku tree as he trailed his claws down my back, biting my neck which drew blood, before he quickly licked it away with his rough tongue.  
  
He whispered softly into my ear. I felt the tickle and it caused my ears to twitch with ecstasy and longing.  
  
I could feel his bulge against my back, it seemed to be as hard as mine. But I could anymore divulge on this thought, he pushed it into me. For a moment I was shocked and then I felt it and grunted as he dragged himself in and out of me. My claws grasped the trunk hard, my fingers bleeding with the effort to hold myself up and not fall over onto my face.  
  
As he started to slow down, I unclamped one of my own hands and started to stroke myself, going with his rhythm.  
  
For that moment we were one. One entity, one being. The perfect moment when we truly were at peace. I had never managed to reach this euphoria with anyone else before. It was love at its most pure. Two brothers connecting themselves to one another more than any other creature could know.  
  
I rubbed myself faster with his rhythm. We were both so close to reaching our climaxes. As he orgasmed inside of me, he was ever more true to himself; He didn't let out more than a guttural growl that I felt vibrated all through out my body. Being the last element I needed to reach the point I also wanted, I cummed into my hand, sighing to myself, closing and opening my eyes as they watered.  
  
We both sat there for a long time, not moving and hardly even breathing. We both panted softly and felt the sweat drip between our shaking bodies.  
  
A few moments pasted and he pulled out of me, standing and putting his hakama back on. I felt too drained to even move. He grabbed my own hakama and handed them to me as I slide them back on.  
  
These moments were always the tensest and most uncomfortable for us. We both wanted to continue until we both died from the effort. But both of us were unsure of the others reaction. Not positive of whether the other truly felt satisfied. 


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter four:  
  
We sat there, the both of us, for a very long time. Leaning against the trees. I wasn't sure what he was thinking, probably meditating on something much more complicated and deep than I could possibly think of.  
  
I stared at him, at his eloquence, at the fire that seemed to dance in his eyes. It betrayed his cold stature he kept with everybody else except me. It told me that his feelings for me were unfathomable. More than I would ever know.  
  
I was ashamed of my feelings for him. I knew they were wrong. That a brother's love should only go so deep. But when I was with him, like this, it didn't matter.  
  
All that mattered was us.  
  
I don't how long it was before I fell asleep. I always hated falling asleep because I knew once I woke up that he would be gone. That he would once again be gone from me. And the pain would return. Each time fiercer than before.  
  
Once I woke up again, my eyes only taking in so much at a time, I saw the sun going down through my half closed lids.  
  
I immediately shot up searching frantically around for him, knowing I had fallen asleep again and I couldn't stand it.  
  
I hated the emptiness I felt, the wanting the need the desire.  
  
He controlled me and I knew it and I accepted it. It was unreasonable to think that everyone is always obliged to something.  
  
But then I saw him. Leaning up against a tree farther to my left. I walked over to him and knelt in front of him. I could feel the corners of my mouth upturn into a smile. I brushed the bangs out of his face and before I realized it, I had leaned in to kiss his forehead.  
  
He stirred beneath me, whispering and groaning, as if trying to figure something out in his subconscious.  
  
Maybe he needed me.  
  
Maybe he didn't.  
  
But I sat next him, on the other side of the tree. Taking one of his hands to hold in mine. I wasn't sure if he was awake or not, but he gave a faint squeeze as I placed our clasped hands on the ground. I let my head fall back against the trunk of tree.  
  
What did I deserve to have this. What did I do in my life that allowed me to be happy. I was cursed to bring unluckiness to anyone who decided to get close to me.  
  
I can't even count on my fingers and toes how many times I hurt Kagome.  
  
Even Kikyo had died in pain and been reborn in it, because of the love we shared.  
  
I don't know how long this is going to last, but I can only hope.  
  
Hope.that I can be happy for a little bit longer. 


End file.
